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If it hasn’t already been nominated, I suggest we stop using “hello.”</p> <p>No, I haven’t lost my mind.</p> <p>This is actually a contextual thing.</p> <p>I don’t want to take such a warm and wonderful word out of general use, one we use umpteen times a day when greeting people on the phone, in e-mails, or in person.</p> <p>“Hello” has a permanent place in our language (and in my heart).</p> <p>What I want to see become quick history is the other version:</p> <p><strong>“Helloooooooooooo…”</strong></p> <p>This is the one with the denigrating tone, probable arched eyebrows and a sickly smile, which is the equivalent of “Duhhhhhhh!” — another way of <strong>indicating that you think someone just said something stupid</strong>.</p> <p><span style="color: #003366;"><strong>Humor may dissipate over time</strong></span></p> <p>It might have been funny the first time, maybe even the first 50 times. But, this careless phrase has now become integrated into everyday use. Coworkers use it on each other, so do spouses, and it filters down to kids (even the very young).</p> <p>Before somebody flags me for being oversensitive, let me toss out a few ideas where “Helloooooooooooo…” would cause problems:</p> <ul> <li>When a supervisor uses it on an employee</li> <li>When parents use it on each other (especially in the presence of children)</li> <li>When parents use it on their kids</li> <li>When kids use it on their parents</li> </ul> <p><em>S<strong>upervisors shouldn’t</strong></em></p> <p>Even in loose, casual workplaces this can work against you. I guarantee that while everybody will get the joke, somebody will be offended by it. They won’t appreciate the humor. <strong>They may even see it as bullying.</strong></p> <p>If the supervisor is a man and the person getting the “Helloooooooooooo…” is a woman, you can bet that another woman will judge it as a negative. If your management style or methods of dealing with workers is ever called into question, you could be accused of being condescending and sexist. You don’t think so?</p> <p>“Helloooooooooooo…”</p> <p>Managers — male and female — have been accused of these things, including being generally insensitive to the feelings of others, for nothing more than how they address people and/or their little jokes.</p> <p><strong>Ask yourself this: “How would I feel if one of my employees said that to me in front of others?”</strong></p> <p>Do you still think it’s okay for you to use it?</p> <p><em><strong>Spouses shouldn’t</strong></em></p> <p>Include “significant others” in this group. If you’ve used this phrase on someone you love once, I suggest you don’t do it again. It won’t be as cute the next time. Eventually it will just become annoying.</p> <p>If you really care for someone you would never say, “That was really a stupid thing to say” or “I can’t believe how dumb you are.”</p> <p>Now listen to the word:</p> <p>“Helloooooooooooo…”</p> <p><strong>I</strong><strong>f it’s the 20th time your loved one has said it to you, what are you hearing?</strong></p> <p>If you’re the one using this line, can you imagine the potential impact?</p> <p><strong><em>Parents shouldn’t</em></strong></p> <p>If you can’t see the possibilities here, you really should think it over carefully. The first time you use it on a child they might laugh. Parents like to pick up on language that kids use and, even though most kids cringe when their parents try to be cool, you can get by with it…once, maybe twice before the desired effect is diminished.</p> <p>If it becomes a habit, see “Spouses shouldn’t,” above.</p> <p><em><strong>Kids shouldn’t</strong></em></p> <p>If your children are using this phrase in conversation with you, animated face and voice included, well, there might be a respect issue that needs addressing.</p> <p><strong>I heard it from my three year-old tonight</strong>. It’s the second time. I don’t use the phrase so he’s picking it up from someone else. I’m not sure how to deal with this. While at three he may not be aware of the ramifications of what he’s saying, he’s bright and is using the statement in a grammatically and contextually correct manner.</p> <p>I’m not going to get mad at him for doing this, but I definitely want to see it curbed before a habit sets in.</p> <p><strong><span style="color: #003366;">Wrong message at the wrong time?</span></strong></p> <p>We don’t always know how people are feeling. They could be carrying a personal burden when they hear our little joke, and instead of it being fun for them it’s interpreted wrong and becomes added weight.</p> <p>If you’ve ever said something to someone that you felt was completely innocent, and carried no hidden meaning, <strong>yet they responded in a totally unpredictable manner (unpredictably bad)</strong>, then it’s certain they were going through something and your message was ill-timed.</p> <p>I know this has happened to me, both on the receiving and giving end. I’ve made a little throwaway remark and it has resulted in disaster; or somebody laid one on me and I was in a <em>dark place</em> when it happened, and I’m sure my expression must have been unnerving.</p> <p><span style="color: #003366;"><strong>But that’s not what I meant</strong></span></p> <p>In most cases people don’t intend any harm. In their mind all they’re saying is, “Uhh, you missed something obvious here.” It’s just that the receiving party may be hearing different words. <strong>Especially if others are within earshot. </strong></p> <p>Nobody likes to be embarrassed in front of other people, particularly by those they trust and care for.</p> <p>People rarely have an issue with thoughtful correction. <strong>Being the butt of jokes is different, even those as seemingly mild as this type.</strong></p> <p>Okay, I’ve chewed this over as much as I care to. The long and the short of it is that <span style="color: #ff0000;"><strong>this unfortunate phrase has got to go</strong></span>.</p> <p>It’s been around for years, had a longer run than it deserved, and now needs to be shown the door.</p> <p>It’s long past the time for us to say goodbye to “Helloooooooooooo…”</p> <p><em><strong>Comments, giggles, and ridicule gleefully accepted.</strong></em></p> <div id="st200812275875" class="st-taf"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://cdn.socialtwist.com/200812275875/script.js"></script><img alt="SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend" style="border:0;margin:0;padding:0;" src="http://images.socialtwist.com/200812275875/button.png" onmouseout="hideHoverMap(this)" onmouseover="showHoverMap(this, '200812275875', 'http%3A%2F%2Fcareerjolt.net%2Fits-time-to-say-goodbye-to-hello%2F', 'It%26%238217%3Bs+Time+to+Say+Goodbye+to+Hello')" onclick="cw(this, {id:'200812275875',link: 'http%3A%2F%2Fcareerjolt.net%2Fits-time-to-say-goodbye-to-hello%2F', title: '+It%26%238217%3Bs+Time+to+Say+Goodbye+to+Hello+' })"/></div> </div>    <p><em style="color:#003366">If you like this post please consider subscribing to our RSS/Email feed (on the menu bar) or <a href="http://twitter.com/jerryroberts">following us on Twitter</a>.</em></p> </div> <div id="comments">  <div id="comments_wrap"> <h2>7 Comments</h2> <div class="comment wrap" id="comment-156"> <div class="col-left"> <div class="inside"> <img src="http://www.gravatar.com/avatar.php?gravatar_id=f628de42c52fa98dec80c58af7af26cd&rating=X&size=70" alt="" /> <p><a href='http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Pamela Slim</a><br /></p> </div> </div> <div class="col-right"> <p>I couldn’t agree more. What is interesting to me, also as the Mom to a 3-year old, is how many sarcastic comments you find in children’s cartoons. The words “shut up!” and “stupid” are tossed around casually.</p> <p>Our kids are so impressionable. A few months ago, my son found something surprising and said “What the HELL?” While it was of course amusing, it was also sobering thinking about how easily he picks up phrases.</p> <p>Nice post!</p> <p>-Pam</p> </div> </div> <div class="comment wrap" id="comment-157"> <div class="col-left"> <div class="inside"> <img src="http://www.gravatar.com/avatar.php?gravatar_id=0490e2e6b8aa592d60b7bfe318b9ff81&rating=X&size=70" alt="" /> <p>admin<br /></p> </div> </div> <div class="col-right"> <p>Thanks, Pam. It’s so tough to hear words flow out of a 3 year-old’s mouth, that you had no role in putting there. They truly are sponges, as is often said. But then, so are the people we supervise in the workplace. </p> <p>It’s been proven time and time again that the biggest influence on how someone manages is how they were managed. We may spend 30-40 hours reading a good book on the subject, but that pales in comparison to 10,000 hours (five working years) under the guidance of our boss. </p> <p>I’ve frequently opened my mouth and had a former supervisor fly out.</p> </div> </div> <div class="comment wrap" id="comment-159"> <div class="col-left"> <div class="inside"> <img src="http://www.gravatar.com/avatar.php?gravatar_id=ce8ae9da5b7cd6c3df2929543a9af92d&rating=X&size=70" alt="" /> <p><a href='http://Website(optional)' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Name</a><br /></p> </div> </div> <div class="col-right"> <p>Nice post, cheers to trashing “helloooooooo!”</p> </div> </div> <div class="comment wrap" id="comment-163"> <div class="col-left"> <div class="inside"> <img src="http://www.gravatar.com/avatar.php?gravatar_id=0d2d6ea3b609033df3500d2ed4fde80f&rating=X&size=70" alt="" /> <p><a href='http://www.geniuspending.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Jay</a><br /></p> </div> </div> <div class="col-right"> <p>So long as we keep the Seinfeldian “Hellooooooooo!” you can count me on board.</p> </div> </div> <div class="comment wrap" id="comment-164"> <div class="col-left"> <div class="inside"> <img src="http://www.gravatar.com/avatar.php?gravatar_id=0490e2e6b8aa592d60b7bfe318b9ff81&rating=X&size=70" alt="" /> <p>admin<br /></p> </div> </div> <div class="col-right"> <p>@Jay — how ’bout if we roll it out on special occasions only? <img src='http://careerjolt.net/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p> </div> </div> <div class="comment wrap" id="comment-182"> <div class="col-left"> <div class="inside"> <img src="http://www.gravatar.com/avatar.php?gravatar_id=414306260d6572ac6d68f4f2eb7b4f9e&rating=X&size=70" alt="" /> <p><a href='http://randomactsofleadership.wordpress.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Susan Mazza</a><br /></p> </div> </div> <div class="col-right"> <p>So when someone gives you a helloooooooo what is an appropriate response? I would like to be prepared next time <img src='http://careerjolt.net/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p> </div> </div> <div class="comment wrap" id="comment-184"> <div class="col-left"> <div class="inside"> <img src="http://www.gravatar.com/avatar.php?gravatar_id=0490e2e6b8aa592d60b7bfe318b9ff81&rating=X&size=70" alt="" /> <p>admin<br /></p> </div> </div> <div class="col-right"> <p>@Susan — What I have decided to do is to say, in my best British tone, “Surely, we can communicate at a higher level than that.”</p> <p>Especially in a group setting, I don’t want to slam the other person. For starters, these are people we know and who know us. Obviously, strangers don’t drop the equivalent of “Duhhh” on someone they’ve just met. So, I’d soften it with humor. It still sends a message.</p> <p>If it continues, I’d take a few seconds privately and tell them, “I know you don’t intend to be rude — that’s not you — but when you say that to me it tells me you think I’m dumb. Do you?” Say it nicely. No animation, no edge to your voice. This gives them a chance to save face, probably apologize, and then you both can share a laugh and move on from there.</p> <p>Believe me, the problem almost certainly goes away at that moment. In most cases the normal reaction is to stop doing something that bothers somebody.</p> <p>If it doesn’t, then you don’t have the relationship you may think you do and that’s another issue.</p> <p>If all else fails, you can always kick ‘em in the shins when nobody’s looking. <img src='http://careerjolt.net/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> (Just kidding. 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