New Office Etiquette: Ear Buds (and the greater meaning)
Written by Jerry Roberts. Follow me on Twitter.
Attitude, Communication
photo by S.C. Axman
Every day I go into the office I learn something new. Today was an office etiquette lesson.
Our admin manager is under 30, and I’m not sure if she’s a very young Gen Xer or an old Gen Y (aka Millennial, Gen “We”); while her assistant is definitely a Y. Two very nice young women, and both adding value to our company.
Like most other offices they sit right at the front and greet any guests who come in, but in our case there are few visitors and the bulk of their work is a mixture of tasks that the rest of the team requires. Much of this is database work and both like to plug ear buds into iTunes, and do the job with their favorite music.
They always hear the phone when it rings and turn out the work we assign, so this is fine with us. It’s a good arrangement.
Respect comes in different forms
Today as I was leaving I passed by both of them, as they were entering data, stopping for a moment to see both typing away and ear buds firmly in place — music flowing smoothly. They didn’t notice me at first.
Then, the assistant looked up and saw me, and immediately removed the ear buds. The manager, seeing her reaction, looked over to see me and she turned down her music, then leaned in a bit to see if I wanted anything. Unlike her counterpart, she did not remove the buds. As we like good natured teasing I grabbed the opportunity.
“Ahh, this must be the new office etiquette,” I said. “If the music goes down that’s good,” I continued as I looked at the manager; “But when the ear buds come out, that’s real respect!” — which I said as I looked directly at our assistant. She gave a big smile. This caused the manager to offer up an explanation.
“I could hear you,” she said.
“Yes, I know,” I replied, “But hey, if you want to keep your ear thingies in while talking to me, I guess that’s just your way.”
I then turned to the assistant, “Thank you. You’ve made my day and given me something to write about tonight.”
She smiled again, while the manager pouted in mock protest and gave me a glare of sorts.
Wait a second here, I seem to remember…
Though we were having fun I flashed back to a couple hours earlier when the manager had come to my desk to tell me something, and I spoke to her with my eyes firmly fixed on my computer.
Yow! That little memory stung a bit.
I couldn’t believe that I had actually done something that I often hold up as a bad example in our training workshops.
Talk about bad etiquette.
The manager didn’t bust me for it, but maybe that glare was a reminder that we all do little things that trample proper behavior.
Have fun but show that respect
The real story here is that we’re all so comfortable with one another that we can joke around and know that people are okay with that. Still, etiquette has its place — even in the loosest of environments — or eventually someone’s feelings will get bent out of shape.
Every member of our team understands how what they do matters to our success, and that’s a key reason why micro managing isn’t an issue. Everyone knows that there is work to do and we get after it. It’s not necessary to push people. We share financial information with our workers and they know where their money comes from.
Make sure you enjoy the good times
Has it always been this way? No. I’ve been through difficult times as a manager, as perhaps you have with hires that just never went right. What a drain it is on your own energy when you have to constantly remind people to do the simplest things, or to file their reports.
The larger message here is that it is possible to have a great working relationship across generations, but it takes work and a lot of give and take. The whole idea of ear buds and iTunes while working was initially foreign to me, but fortunately Divine intervention kept my mouth shut and I made an instant decision to monitor the work flow to see if it had any negative impact.
It didn’t, and I never brought it up — until today — when we had some fun with it.
And I learned that when the ear buds come out, that’s real respect.
Got a story about your work across generations or have a comment? Jump in.

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3 Comments
Name Anne
Great article, very applicable to my work situation Curious, did you go ‘fess yourself out to the manager? Talk about an opportunity! A boomer manager
Susan Mazza
Great story and important message!
admin
@Anne — No, I didn’t “fess out” to the manager. She actually called me up after this post came out and said, “I can’t believe you wrote about me!” We had a good laugh.
In the aftermath she has made a point to show me that her buds are now out when she speaks to me, so the humor around this served the purpose. I didn’t have to say anything to her directly, and accomplished something positive. Thanks.
@Susan — Thank you, Susan.
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